Permanent Disability

I have not been able to get stabilized enough to hold a job since I was hit broadside by a major depressive episode that began a year ago this month.

At the time I was employed and went on disability from work, drawing a % of my salary plus having my benefits. For my years of service, that ended in 6 months.

Pdoc authorized me to return to work for a half day for a month or so. After several weeks of that, pdoc told me bluntly to quit the job as it was contributing to the stress that caused the anxiety/depression/hypomania and if I stayed there I would likely not get well.

For the past 5 months I have been supported financially by my mother. I moved to a less expensive apartment. Scaled things down where I could, but the fact remains, especially including the Cobra insurance payments, my mother is running out of disposable funds. She and my stepfather planned well for their retirement and it really hurts me emotionally and is demeaning to be 52 years old, with advanced education and not be able to support myself.

In April I worked through a temp. agency (scoring standardized testing). In a month's period I called out probably a total of a week's time. I would love to be stable enough to work, but will alone is not working.

So, my mother and I have discussed the possibility of looking into permanent disability...which I know ~nothing~ about - how to start, how much income it provides, will it pay for meds, can I still work part time on it, etc., etc. And is this a national program or is each state a bit different?

So, I gathered my courage and broached the subject at my pdoc appt. this week. To my complete surprise, without blinking an eye, he said he definitely thought that's the way I should go and that the best way would be to consult an attorney. I asked if he had any attorneys he would recommend who were "reputable." (After working in Workers Comp., some attorneys are more like "ambulance chasers.") He gave two names for me and indicated one of them would sit down with me and help me with the paperwork.

My mother is encouraging me to make an appointment soon.

I know many of you have gone this route through necessity. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Right now, I'm feeling like a failure.