Indeed I have no sex drive and this could be due to Topamax which I dropped two days ago so hopefully in January when I am back from my trip I will be good to go.

I find his facial features attractive in an objective sense, although they do not turn me on, but I really do not want to be a "slave" of my medication-induced lack of desire. I also find him too heavy in the belly area but I hope to overcome this sort of aversion. I respect him a lot and I find his pattern of handling relationships (he "converts" all past romantic r/s into friendships, each and all) extremely attractive in its own right. I have never dated anyone with this sort of a "resume". I am very enthusiastic about him and I do not want to "drop this idea" just because I am not particularly attractive.

Also, I would not trust my attractions because in the past they led to disastrous choices. So I would rather go with respect this time than with attractions.

Lastly, I surprised myself by all of a sudden lightly kissing him on the lips at the end of our second date (NOT French kissing, no) and I really liked the sensation. So, there is SOME attraction. And, he said "oh thank you" which I found to be ueber-polite.

Lastly, my existing sexual partner (this date is polyamorous so multiple partners are OK) was just OK and nothing more in the beginning but after a month I grew somewhat attracted to him (sexual problems notwithstanding) and look forward to our reuniting after he and I come back from our respective trips in January. During the time we have dated, he has read every single email or draft of an email to/from each of my three kids who all live separately from me, has provided feedback, and overall has been wonderfully emotionally supported and I appreciate it. But I still find my viciously abusive ex 2nd husband more sexually attractive. So, the mechanism by which I am attracted to people is just wrong, wrong, wrong and I have decided to distrust it and instead appreciate people for their impressive qualities of character. Makes sense?