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Open Eyes,
I don't think I've ever really had a time in my life where I haven't been abused. I cut contact with all family only earlier this year because of my "mother's" continued abuse (mostly emotional and psychological now) and our "family's" continued acceptance of her behaviour (they knew she was abusing me growing up but never said or did anything to stop her). I suspect she has what is now called antisocial personality disorder.
I know what I want to happen but it's difficult for me because I've never had any role models or examples in my life, other than what NOT to be or do, and it seems more and more like the negative is taking over. It's like the "not everyone cheats and lies" is turning into "everyone in my life up to this point has cheated and lied so why would that suddenly change?" and because I've grown up with negativity I can't seem to get through it to the positive that I know is there.
So far I have only met my partner's sister as his family are quite far away from us. I know his father was in the army and he is very "traditional" with regards to family, which is good because I tend toward more traditional values myself. I think my partner's life has been pretty similar to mine though, in that there's a lot of examples of what NOT to be or do in our pasts.
I guess I sort of feel like I'm floundering around and I hate not knowing the ins and outs of everything. I've spent my entire life having no one to rely on for anything and having a partner who isn't abusive and wants to help and support me in any way he can is very strange and new to me and I don't know how to deal with it.
Anyhow, I'm rambling again so I'll stop and let everyone breathe!
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 Curiosity didn't kill the cat, the cat killed curiosity.
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