Silentycrying - maybe your tears needn't be so silent if you can reach out some. Sorry that sounded really pretentious didn't it? Just wanting to connect really. Not sure if feeling worse than a pregnant woman refers to how you feel physically, or emotionally, or maybe both?

As for me - feeling noxiously crap - self hate self blame and general frustrated powerlessness overwhelming me. I hate it that my problems are all my fault my doing my creation and even knowing that, nothing changes .

And I hate it that I feel so rubbish especially coming up to Christmas. Feeling alienated and alone and trapped inside my terrifying head. Ack