I can't control what I do most of the time..... if I get mad or extremely sad I black out and for some reason cutting is my escape..... this happens a lot, because I am bipolar...... ive attempted suicide 12 times..... each time I do it, it makes me mad that I didn't follow through..... so I keep doing it and doing it..... I don't take medicine either...... I don't know what to do now..... I have a loving boyfriend that would absolutely die (literally) without me..... what do you think?