Help!
It's the first time I've been in a serious relationship with someone who has a 'problematic' ex. They've been separated almost 6 years now and have a 9 year old daughter together.

I thought everything was ok until about a week ago. I didn't have a problem with her (and the fact that she spends everyday with his mother) and I thought she was ok with me. Then I overheard her telling her hair dresser that the reason his daughter doesn't see her father much is because he has a girlfriend now.

The daughter is supposed to be with her dad every weekend, but this rarely happens. During the summer (when I hadn't met her yet) she often chose not to come. He won't force her to come. . . where's the benefit in that? And often the ex will plan sleepovers and play dates for her on the weekend. What 9 year old is going to choose Dad's house when there is Justin Bieber bonding time to be had?

The daughter and I get along really well. In my experience, 9 year olds aren't very good at pretending they like you if they don't.

Yes, he and I have gone out of town a few weekends, but they are out numbered by the weekends the ex has made plans for the daughter.

I'm trying not to take it personally. I think she would feel the same with any woman in his life.

Right now my big concern is Boxing Day. She will be at his parents' house with his daughter for the day. How do I handle this? Do I tell her I know she's been telling people she thinks I'm a problem? Do I ignore her? I have absolutely no desire to see her right now because I'm so upset over what she said.

As much as I love my bf, he's pretty passive when it comes to the ex. He's like a beaten puppy, he just doesn't want to get into it with her because nothing changes. Neither of them are the best communicators (not that I'm much better) but I can't spend my life like this.

Sorry for rambling. I'm not even sure I'm making sense any more. What is the best way to cope with a partner's ex?