The most important thing is to take care of you ...

If others truly love and care about you, they will gracefully allow you this ... If not, then it's time to reasses the value of that connection.

I grew up in a very unpleasant family atmosphere and now spend my holidays to myself ... In spite of all that stuff, though, I find that the Christmas Music and Lights still bring me joy.

I'm sorry you're struggling with all this too, and I wish you the best and hope that their might be one glimmer of happiness for you during the holiday season.

,
Pfrog!

ps. You are not being selfish. Even if other people are suffering, it doesn't mean that you aren't. Therefore, I encourage you to be extra patient, gentle and kind with yourself right now ... .