Thanks again everyone.

For the making amends part I actually have tried doing this with my family. I have appologized for the bad stuff and for being a bad daughter and sister. I appologized for the way I treated my mom during the divorce and being a hard person to deal with while I was growing up. Maybe I should try again.

It's the holidays now so things are kinda tough but making it through little by little. Going to my mom's for christmas tomorrow and probably going to be spending the night. Will be the first in a long time that will just be mom mom and my siblings and family and of course my step-dad. Will also be the first time I get to spend the whole day there. I hope things will be ok and that I can keep my feelings and emotions pushed down.

I got a scrap book from my step-mom full of my brother (whom passed away last year) pictures and of the family. Was so nice and of course the tears came down. Was a little uncomfortable crying in front of her and dad.

Thanks again,
Jen