I am in the midst of a major dilemma here. About a month ago, I got a management job for a quick service restaurant - I am the store manager. This comes after a long period of being an hourly employee and getting paid squat. I had positions like this before - before meds.

I am bipolar II and two years ago ended up in a psych ward from an overdose. I've come a long way since then and have finally found the perfect combination of meds that have stabilized me and gotten me back on track. But as with anything, there was a price to pay. My personality has changed - I am more laid back, more mellow. That "edge" is gone now, replaced by quietness and calmness.

My problem is my boss. He wants me to be more "aggressive" with customers in terms of upselling and suggesting items. He wants that "edge" back - the one that I used to have with people. I was outgoing and everything before. I very rarely get upset anymore about much of anything and that competiveness and quick thinking have gone.

I know that deep down I wish to quit my meds and live a "normal" life again.......to be myself again. But I remember what happened the last time I quit - the mood swings, the depression, the upside down life I had. I've worked really hard to get to a point of stability and now I'm considering weaning off my meds. My boss says that being "aggressive" is part of my job - and I love what I do, finally. I don't want to jeopardize this job but my greatest fear is just that - if I slowly quit my meds, I know what can happen. It only took a week last time for everything to go crazy again.

I sent an email to my T who is all for tapering me off my meds. He prefers dealing with things without help if possible. I know that I will be doing it slowly but I worry about the repercussions that can happen before I would be able to get stable again if things go badly.

So what does everyone think? Should I take a major chance and wean off my meds or just try to exert myself into being more outgoing so that my boss doesn't have to "drag me kicking and screaming to the next level" - as he puts it?

I appreciate any thoughts on this as it is driving me crazy.

Thanks.

Mary Alice