So, it sounds as if others may have the same issues. It helps to know that it's just not me. I've not had this problem in other relationships, which just leaves me scratching my head from time to time. I've gained about 10 pound during this relationship, so I always worry that that he'd just not that attracted to me. Because this has gone on for so long now, the only way I've really dealt with it is to just turn myself off. Unfortunately, when he does initiate, which is rare, it really doesn't work for me...I don't feel very sexy...which makes it hard to really connect when we do have sex...ugh...he's not that open to talking about it...and talking about it can add another layer of pressure...