I have blown like that before a few times, how you are feeling is exactly how i felt, the lack of emotion is probably down to the fact you were not actually listened to, by blaming you for the outburst instead of acknowledging their mistakes and disrespecting you yet again your parents are trying to trivialise what is really important to you instead of growing a back bone and helping you work through your anger.
these outbursts usually do not just happen, there is always a cause and often many causes over a period of time... the last straw ... also they are usually directed at the deserved person, so personally i would not feel guilty about it.
mum crying and talking about killing herself is a tactic mine used, it is done to divert the attention back to herself because she knows what you are yelling is right but she does not want to acknowledge it for whatever irrational fear.
it is extremely difficult to show or feel emotion for someone when you are not being supported by them emotionally especially when as parents it is their job to support you unconditionally.

some people are detrimental to our health, i realised this after my last outburst with my parents, since then i have severed all ties and had no more outbursts since. it may be that no matter what you do or say they will never have the ability to understand or empathise with you, not all people are born model parents. it is your choice if you want to stick with them and let bygones be just that or if some time apart will bring you more happiness. a chat with your T may well be a good idea to talk this through as i am just talking from experience

good luck in whatever you decide