I have always felt there is something wrong with me. Even as a child I never felt good. I have suffered from eating disorders since I was in grade 8. I used to hunch over and put my hands inside the bottom of my shirt to hide my breasts since grade 6. I started drinking heavily always to blackout at age 12 and started shooting drugs at sixteen. I was sexually promiscuous and became a hooker at 17. Now at 51 I had a feeling last spring that I had overstayed my welcome in my own family. Mother of 3, married for 18 years. My daughter said **** you to me on my birthday, my son quit doing things I asked him to do ie fold some towels. My husband and I just sort of quit being partners - never fought or anything just grew away. So I moved out in May the day after mother's day as not one of my children had anything to do with me. I never went to my daughter's graduation in June as she has never apologized or mentioned saying **** you to me. My husband came to visit me 3 times when I lived in a hotel until the end of June. I got a job on the other side of the province in July and have had no contact with my family since then. I get an email once in awhile from my husband and I did get a thank you email from my oldest daughter when I sent a birthday card and money to her husband. My other daughter did not acknowledge a birthday card and money I gave her. I know I have an avoider personality so I don't think I can go back. I feel sad and cry quite a bit. I know there is no hope for me but thanks for listening.