Dear T,

I keep trying to picture you with your family, celebrating Christmas today. I'm having a really hard time doing it. If seems weird to picture you doing "normal" things like cooking a ham or wrapping gifts or drinking too much egg nog. Plus, I have no idea what your family is like, so I don't have much to go on in constructing my mental picture.

It makes me sad that I can't picture you in your life. It's also hard to admit that. I'm not a part of your life, outside our weekly appointments. After all this time, I want to be ok with that, but it's still a struggle.

I'm looking forward to seeing you after the holidays. I'm not sure what I think of our new time/day, and I still need to find childcare, otherwise I'll be toting the baby along. And I know how hard it is to concentrate with her along.

I hope that you're well, enjoying good food and time with your family.