You can try the celery seed powder, bacopa powder and the morinda power(noni fruit powder) It sells by the pound at www.herbalcom.com and prices are great. Anyway I really enjoy feeling better when I take it everyday. By the way you can put the stuff in capsules, but I am too lazy and would rather take more, by mixing it in the juice with the blender. It is worth the trouble, to feel really better and I agree that the omega 3 oil everyday will make a difference for the bi-polor problem. All of this works but has to be done each day to work really well, especially with the mania control or it won't do anything not taken often and regularly. I take it atleast 2 x a day at 2 tbsp each ingredient in the juice all the time.

Now I am going to start it up again. I didn't take any during summer and I was doing badly because of it.

Side effects from mental health drugs can hurt me so this can be my saving alternative, but I have to seriously take it all the time!

I'm still going to go to my Pdoc appt and get the Topamax. Do you guys think, I better give it a try? I know when I was regularly on Bi-polor meds, I was even. I so miss being an even person. I long to be even. being told, how unpredictable, I am really screws with my self-esteem. Do you ever feel Low, when you hear things you did yesterday, and it feels like but not quite like a "black-out" when the mania was just partying with your mind to the point of others laughing at you inwardly, commenting to you days later that they love you, "EVEN IF YOU ARE CRAZY" That hurts.

I am working on a degree in my late 40's getting pretty good grades and trying to become less disabled, but still have a long distance to move in that direction. I really feel hurt, {more than they know, i am hurt by remarks} and just wish I could be even, but can't.

The herbal stuff, takes away side effects from regular drugs like depakote, (but did not take enough of them away for me, because the cardiologist took me off of it - the Depakote- due to my heart irregularities and chest pain during the night due to heart swelling from depakote) But maybe if I start something like Topamax, it might be workable and the bacopa may enhance my memory. I heard that Topamax does make one slightly forgetful, but other than that it does nip mood swings of mania off pretty good. I only have mania and hardly have the down side, which makes me lucky.

I told my boyfriend about my seeing if I could try Topamax but he dosen't know too much about mental health drugs and just is praying for me to do whatever will help me to feel more well. He really must love me, when I have mania around him (often) We are new girlfriend and boyfriends and are going to things together and making decisions to not jump into physical love super-spontaniously, so that we could have a really valuabe enjoyable time by going at a pace that reveals things in a more human way and less raw way, because both of us had relationships that we wanted to value and decided to treat ours special this time around. He is supportive for me to try the Topamax and that is great because he will be there for me when I just start it and if I feel icky, he could comfort me as well.