I don't know that he can change. Is it terrible that I'm not willing to give him "one more chance"? Isn't ten years worth of chances enough?

This is a tough one for me personally because my ex wont give me another chance....she has given me enough chances already too, i suppose.....but I would love one more! We are actually good friends right now....right now....and she confirmed to me today that the only reason I was even allowed back in the house was because of the changes I have made and the things that I have admitted to. She was deeply hurt and I was really some kind of monster. I am so ashamed and humiliated by who and what I was!
I would say that at this point, your husband needs to stop telling you what he is going to do and start taking action. And he needs to do it whether or not it will lead the two of you back together...he needs to get the help he needs for himself!
I am getting my therapy and doing my research to help me be a good father to our daugher, and to be a good ex to my ex. After a total of 23 years together, she deserves nothing less from me than that.
Even with all I am doing, I still struggle with stress when I am with my ex and daughter. My daughter listens to her mother (most of the time) and with me its still like I am invisible...just like in the marriage...she loves her daddy as a play pal and an activity buddy...but let me be a parent to her and its not that easy for her to listen to me. And since I am trying to be that parent, when my ex would try to help me with my parenting skills, I would take it more like that child being scolded than like a husband, partner, adult. Ugh!
But I am working on that part...and making some progress....but when my kid has been disciplined by both of us, I still experience depression because she is not happy. I never want to make her unhappy. But that is because "I" never want to be unhappy! Geeze...still more work to do!
Nice chatting with you, I wish you all the best.
Feel free to contact me anytime...its nice to share my feelings and things with you!
Hope you have a Happy New Year!