me too, i feel like i'm just "existing".

their are so many experiences in this world that i've not had, and for that matter, don't want to have.

i don't even know what i want anymore... even down to- i don't want to live, but i don't want to die- and when you can't even figure that out, then you've got a problem.

what keeps me going?

music, PC, internet in general, and simple things... eating, breathing, drinking... i know it sounds weird- but the really daily essentials mean everything to me and i'd be lost without them.

also because i've " tried", many times before... once almost succeeding, and also ending up wheelchair bound- so i guess i don't want to be anymore messed up in a physical sense