(((Little Me))),

It is important that you understand that you are truely "not alone" with this challenge. I have struggled this way myself and so I know the discomfort you are talking about. But, the important thing to also learn is that if you just observe here at PC, relationships are a challenge for "most people".

What you have to work on first is "understanding" yourself and where your own challenges are. This takes time and each person is different depending on their life challenges. And then your husband has to learn what areas he is challenged with as well. Then you both have to find your way of slowly "sharing" these inner challenges and learning to slowly build trust and a new kind of closeness between the two of you. This definitely takes a lot of time and both husband and wife have to be willing to finally give and work on it, also knowing there is no "quick" fix either.

I have been working on this problem too, and I am far from that "magic" moment where I have a sense of finally feeling relaxed and that my husband understands me the way I need him to. What I can tell you is that you are not alone with this challenge so make sure you don't "self punish" and instead "keep an open mind" to learning about "where your real needs are and how to find ways to fill them on a personal level".

Open Eyes