I've heard too many horror stories about misdiagnosis and deceit, whether intentional or not, on behalf of therapists to take my chances with getting someone who doesn't know BPD or is not willing to consider it as a possibility. I've done a gigantic amount of research on all of this, as you also already know, and I know I'm trying to fool myself that it's suddenly disappeared. I just have a gigantic, illogical, completely ingrained phobia about this entire thing. Not of getting diagnosed itself but of seeing a therapist, admitting I can't do it alone. My family would highly disapprove and it goes against everything I was brought up to believe, as faulty as that thinking may be.....and I can't talk. This is very, very difficult to do though I know it is completely right. I'll call today or tomorrow.....do what I can. Thank you for your support.

'Tis genuinely sad. Just thinking about it is enough to get my anxiety level way up; I can let this defeat me, though. Gotta do this....