I don't know about the steel thing Mara ,it sounds so cold and unfeeling (which we know you are not)!, You don't need to "gets the guts up to go" you need to change that feeling to "isn't it wonderful hey, someone who actually knows how to diagnose BPD is finally going to see me "what a relief" "iv'e been waiting for sooo long, it's finally happening, i'm going to feel so much better"!!! 2013 is going to be my lucky year, finally i get to do it!!! and you CAN and you WILL do it ok!!
get the diagnosis first and foremost mate, only then will you be able to think about starting to tackle the home support angle!!!!