I think I am a bit confused. Did you cheat on your husband in retaliation for him looking at pictures of women?

I may be the only one that has this opinion, but I don't find it offensive or disrespectful if a man looks at women, watches porn, or mags. On the other hand, if they are taking it to a level that they are interacting, that's different. Or if they have an addiction to it.

I think all people, regardless of gender have curiosities or fantasies...some are just more obvious about it. I have male friends that like to look at websites, I have some female friends that read "romantic" novels that get them lusting.

I think it becomes a problem if it is taking over one's life, if one is acting out on these fantasies, if one cannot function without the fantasy, if one strays out of the marraige/commtiment because of the fantasy. Or, as in your case you find it very offensive.

Have you ever tried talking with him about what his draw to it it? Have you ever asked yourself what you find offensive to it? Is it your insecurities? Or is it the fact that it truly goes against your character?

Personally, that stuff is not for me, but I cannot control another's behavior, and if someone I am with "needs" or feels the "desire" to have that in their lives (and it's not an addiction) then so be it, I just don't want it in my face.

Guess, this doesn't help much...sorry!! (((hugs-2-you)))

Anything you cannot tell your partner (to me anyway) is cheating.