I think all our experiences influence us but don't make us what we are; that's up to us and how we respond to our influences. Not everyone responds the same way, even in families where you'd think brothers and sisters would be more alike. It's all choices we make; consciously, unconsciously, happily, angrily, passionately, calmly, etc. We always have choices, even children. We always figure out how to make good choices for us for the circumstances we're in. Sometimes though, we get stuck, not realizing the circumstances and "rules" may have changed.

I was diagnoses borderline once too, back in the 1970's but diagnoses are just like one's mother calling one stupid or lazy, smart or hard-working; they're working models for that particular therapist and just like another adult, say a teacher, will "agree" with your mother's assessment that you're smart or dumb, lazy or need attention, etc. it doesn't mean you are whatever those behaviors say to those adults. For 20-30 years I read 3-5 books a week; buy over $100 worth of books each month from Amazon. But I always got low marks on reading comprehension throughout my elementary career. I get straight A's in my major in college now, a major that requires 3+ major (5-10 pages+) research papers be written each course. I didn't fit the "educators" mold for comprehension, didn't remember what they wanted me to remember. An obvious case where what "they" want has nothing to do with me and my life. But it slowed me down, made me doubt myself for quite a few years. Same with math until as a "C" student I scored in the 99th percentile on a nationwide exam. My algebra teacher looked at me, I looked at her, we both looked very surprised :-) and then she put me in the back of the room with the "A" students who were allowed to do whatever they wanted during class; homework for other classes, pay attention, daydream, whatever. God bless Mrs. Campbell, who "got" it. I made some bad choices in math in years to follow, didn't take enough or the right kinds to do some things I'd like to have "now." But that was me and my choices now, not someone else saying, "you can't succeed in math."