Jen, do you understand that your friends and family will feel that it's their fault if you do something you can't take back? They'll feel like they should have done more ... that they have failed you. A lot of us here have felt we might be doing our loved ones a favor if they didn't have to bother about us, but for some reason they don't see it that way.
Please don't do something that can't be undone. You don't want to be beyond reach. Your brother is beyond reach, and that's broken your heart ... that is never the right answer, Jen. * very gentle hugs *