I have been living with my boyfriend for about 7 years now, i guess we are in a common law marriage at this point.He has 2 beautiful granchildren who call me Nana and who love me as such.Of course I love them too.Their parents are meth addicts and the paternal grandma is raisig them... my bf's ex wife.we all get along very well, this isn't the problem.

The problem is that these kids are not being taught limits, rules, boundaries of any kind. The do not believe the word no applies to them. The boy is 3 and very beligerent, he hits, spits, screams, kicks, calls me bad names...

whatever it takes to resist what I might be trying to make him do. such as go to bed or not throw rocks in my house.
The little girl is only 20 months old but masking the same behavior.

These kids stay over night with us nearly every weekend and it is becoming more and more stressful for me and causing arguments between me and my Bf.Basically I am being abused in my own home by two very small children. And I am considered " the bad guy" because i tell them no.

I am being unreasonable.. or I don't think i am. .I was rasied by a sick-minded father who was a former marine and very strict. He demanded respect above all things and this is one lesson I have felt was a good one I could hang on to from everything he taught us.

My son is respectful of me. .he is 16 and I have raised him without a father. I cannot tolerate being slapped in the face by a 3 year old... or spit in the face.. or kicked. or called names..yet at the same time, I can't just stand by and let this kid break all my belongings because he wants to play with a slingshot in the house. I can't let him hit my dog.. kick my dog. because he has anger issues.. I feel like he has to have some kind of boundaries...

He climbs on the furniture like it as a jungle gym.. has brok,en the back of the couch jumping off of it.. hurt himself in the process... shouldn't we be making sure he isn't in danger of hurting himself or his baby sister? He hits her.. bites her. he has bitten me too.. I can't take it.

But my Bf says. they are just kids..ignore it..they scream and yell and fight and run all over. and jump on things...they are unruly.. wild children... I don't know what to do. I feel like I have to leave home when they come over just so I don't get upset over it..

Any advise? Are my perceptionson how to raise kids all wrong because of my father? I feel like I must be some mean old monster.this boy will even go to my bf to get that which i told him no to and he will stick his tongue out at me behind my bf's back when he gets it...it runs through me like fire when he does that.

I need to know what to do....help...