Good job on reaching out, I know how hard that can be keep posting, its imperative you purge, your plate is well passed full. You have my utmost respect and admiration, you are one tough lady, and a hellava mother, your kids are lucky to have you my late brother said this once: ''sometimes its not about the right or wrong choice, sometimes its about making the best choice'' This has helped me during trying times, though nothing like yours. I hope his words help you too