Quote:
Originally Posted by costello
Hi, I.Am.The.End. The title on this thread caught my eye, because I've been celibate for years. I suspect, though, that I have some kind of hormonal problem, because I seldom even think about sex. It sounds like you're interested in an intimate relationship.
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I always have been, but I'm always rejected before even the first date. I was never worth a chance. Everyone found
me disgusting unless they were drunk.
Quote:
Originally Posted by costello
I think you're asking the wrong question. Instead of asking, 'How can I adjust to a lifetime of depriving myself?', see if you can figure out why you find sex so disgusting and disturbing. I agree with kindachaotic. You can find a therapist to work with this on.
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Talk therapy really doesn't work. I don't want to talk about it. I've always gotten over things by doing, not talking. Besides, whatever I say will be met with a "Is that all?" Even if they don't say it out loud, they're thinking it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by costello
I'm not sure what you mean by 'emotionally intimate.' I have lots of people I care about deeply, but I don't have sex with them. I'm not in a relationship, though. If you want a partner or spouse, I suppose it's possible to find someone who either shares your aversion to sex or is physically incapable of performing. Narrows the field of prospects a lot, though.  |
All I meant was someone close enough to share feelings/thoughts with. I just don't imagine anyone would put up with that from me unless they were getting something in return (i.e. sex).
Quote:
Originally Posted by costello
I don't think there's anything wrong with masturbation. I've never understood why people objected to it.
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I don't know. It just makes me feel like a worse person. Or weak. Or afterwards I'm more upset that I'm alone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by costello
That may not be possible.  I actually think it's very sweet when I see couples holding hands and walking together. The fact that you find it disturbing maybe indicates you'd like to be part of such a couple but you fear you never will be? |
I've always had a negative reaction to that. It's just so rude, like they're just rubbing it into the faces of people who'll always be alone. And yes, to answer your question, yes I few I will never be in a relationship, let alone a non-abusive, functional one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by costello
No one has ever asked me why I don't date or why people don't like me enough to date me. Sounds like your friends are rude and nosy.
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Well, it's only really a couple of people who ask, but I fear more people will ask in the future.
Quote:
Originally Posted by costello
Well, I can't say I've never had sex, so I can't answer the first question. As to being kissed, touched, married, and loved/loving: you can do all that stuff without having sex.
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But I seem to find all the physical stuff disgusting. It's the only way to cope with being single for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by costello
Well, as I said, I don't feel like I'm 'coping' so much as I'm just being myself. It sounds like you'd actually like a full intimate relationship, though. I think you should gather your courage and see if you can work through whatever is standing between you and what you want. This is just too important.  |
I really don't see how. No one is going to want to deal with me now in a relationship. Even if I somehow got over things, it would never happen. They would be put off by what I look like and/or my personality.