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Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.
I always have been, but I'm always rejected before even the first date. I was never worth a chance. Everyone found me disgusting unless they were drunk.
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It probably seems that way to you, but it's not true. All kinds of people find relationships. It would help if you weren't so down on yourself.
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Talk therapy really doesn't work. I don't want to talk about it. I've always gotten over things by doing, not talking. Besides, whatever I say will be met with a "Is that all?" Even if they don't say it out loud, they're thinking it.
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Talking
is doing. And then presumably the outcome of the talking/thinking/planning/analyzing/etc. is some action you can take outside of therapy.
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All I meant was someone close enough to share feelings/thoughts with. I just don't imagine anyone would put up with that from me unless they were getting something in return (i.e. sex).
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What do you mean 'put up with'? If you're friends, it's give and take, right? They listen to you; you listen to them.
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I don't know. It just makes me feel like a worse person. Or weak. Or afterwards I'm more upset that I'm alone.
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A lot of people probably feel that way. They've been taught it's wrong. I personally don't agree. That probably doesn't help much, though?
I think a sex drive is like the need for food or air or water or companionship. You can control when and what you eat, but you don't stop eating altogether. You can train yourself to hold your breath for longer, but you'll never be able to stop breathing completely. We have drives and appetites that we have to control in certain ways if we're going to get along in polite company. But having the drive is neither good nor bad. And finding an appropriate way of taking care of it doesn't make you a bad person.
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I've always had a negative reaction to that. It's just so rude, like they're just rubbing it into the faces of people who'll always be alone.
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I doubt they're hoping to rub it in anyone's face.
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And yes, to answer your question, yes I few I will never be in a relationship, let alone a non-abusive, functional one.
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You might be if you want to be.
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Well, it's only really a couple of people who ask, but I fear more people will ask in the future.
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What did you tell them?
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But I seem to find all the physical stuff disgusting. It's the only way to cope with being single for me.
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Which physical stuff? Masturbation?
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I really don't see how. No one is going to want to deal with me now in a relationship. Even if I somehow got over things, it would never happen. They would be put off by what I look like and/or my personality.
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Well, look around you. Are all the people in relationships good looking and personable? My mom was 30 when she got married. And my dad was almost 33. She told me once that she complained to her mother because all of her friends were getting married and she wasn't. Her mom asked her if she'd want any of the guys her friends were marrying. She thought about it and realized she wouldn't.
There are a lot of ugly people in loving relationships. And unpleasant people. And humorless people. And stupid people. And lazy people.
You don't have to be perfect to find love. Somewhere in this big world is someone for you.
It sounds like you actually have two problems: sex seems disgusting to you and your self-esteem is low.