I can totally understand using laziness as a cover. I had a friend in school who was so afraid of talking to people before classes that he would come to class late every day. One professor chewed him out in front of everyone, but he just kept doing it all three years. People thought he was lazy and just woke up late, but I saw him tucked away in a back hallway studying before classes. He preferred getting in trouble to uncomfortably sitting in class not knowing how to talk to people.

He still made it through school just fine, even though the one professor gave him a bad grade. Good for you if you keep going to school and trying; some people with the same issues quit trying at all.

I personally know what it's like to wish I could just enjoy being with people but not go because I think I will just regret it and be mad at myself later for how I acted. It puts you in a tough position. It feels really unfair that other people don't have to deal with these fears. I wish I could just be different. But for some people, it takes work.

A therapist at your school may have resources to help you besides traditional psychotherapy. They often have group meetings or workshops for people with social anxiety. Something like 4% of college students have some sort of social anxiety, and meeting people in small groups can help them work through it.

You could always try going to a counselor and quit if you don't find it helpful. I think one way some people avoid taking risks is by seeing things as all or nothing; you think "I can't follow through with the whole thing" or "I can't do it the normal way" so you don't try any of it. I know I have that problem big time.

I haven't found many helpful resources on AvPD, but there are great books about social anxiety that discuss ways to try to get over similar issues. AvPD is a more pervasive and longstanding condition, which is why it can help to work with a therapist to understand why you have certain feelings and behaviors.

I'm glad you're posting, and I hope it helps to open up and talk about it to people who understand. You are not the only person who feels this way.