That horrible thought of I thought my thoughts where clear and I understood myself and had reasoning only to find I will foolishly on false ground yet again heading for another pit fall. Anyway yet another year to so-so say I will all what I was going to put into place last year and the year before that and so forth. I just hope that I may regain some thoughts that actually are thoughts. Not just a muddle of everything else affecting my thoughts and actions. Then maybe I could think clear once again not giving myself more rubbish to filter through and so on goes that cycle. Yet I said all this long ago and headed for that working out and it didn’t.. getting very down this may never happen. Yet still I will go on but just in a blaze of negativity maybe even a little black hole on earth slowly dragging everything and one around them into their misery… er hopefully not but not to hopeful for another ending.
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