I know what you mean about karma, much of it has to do with what we're holding onto in our head.

I was trying to wait until the holidays had passed a bit, because I don't want to hurt him. But I hate him... ?

The final straw this time is that a couple we know invited us and my kids to their cabin in the snow for new years and to go skiing. I talked to bf and said they invited me and my kids. He said, oh yea well you won't be able to go. (?) I said, but I'd really love to go, why can't I go? He said, because of Nathan, you can't leave Nathan alone. I said, I'd like to bring Nathan, it would be good for him to be included in something. Bf scoffed at that, he said my son won't behave. Then he said it only going to be a short trip for the purpose of snowboarding only (he knows I suck at skiing and never even tried snowboarding), we'd come back on Monday. I said, but Monday is New years eve, wouldnt it be nice to spend new years up in the snow together? He said the trip is not about new years, it's about the snow, and he can't stand to be around the woman who invited us for very long.

I hate him. He takes mini vacations about every other week, and I'm not included. And he doesn't even want to do anything special for new years with me. I have to end this.

I'm trying to think I'll be able to pay him back, but I have no money, no savings.
And I'm picking my brain, where to go, where to go, just blanks I have nowhere to go, and I can't stay here. Then, if I were to uproot my 11 yr old, it could be disastrous. Where are all my bright ideas.