I am depressed.

I am coming to realize that I will never live up to standards in the world... I will never prove myself as good, due to my past things. Things which should have been forgiven by now.... and I'm depressed. And I know maybe it's not my issue, but, I would like to be forgiven at least.... but, I know I can't control that.

And I feel that it's all my karma from what I did. At the same time, my mother-in-law said that with karma once you've learned it should stop. And I feel I have learned, but it isn't stopping, so I think that maybe that's not true, and it is actually the 10x10 rule.... I don't know...