Quote:
Originally Posted by Roadie
Dear lindammarie,
Sam2 has given you a very thoughtful answer. I can give you none better. "Why?" is what we start asking very early in life, and it just never stops.
Your comment, "I know I have people in my life that love me, but what good is that if you exasperate them constantly?" made me laugh ... I went to my journal to be sure, and yes--I wrote almost those exact words in my journal a few weeks before ending up in the psychiatric unit several years ago. I was deep deep in a depression when I wrote, "I know there are people in my life who love me, but what good is that if every week you're less able to connect with them?"
Maybe every depressed person feels that way, sooner or later.
Depression is a real meanie, because it changes our ability to relate to the world, our loved one, even ourselves. That hospital visit I mentioned changed my life--my friends talked things over & decided I didn't know what was best for me so with my doctor's okay called the ambulance.
I was there a month, re-diagnosed as bipolar ... not depressed.
Sorry, I just talk & talk ...
but my point is, sometimes we don't have all the facts
and sometimes we do well to turn things over to god
and stay in the present, looking for opportunities
that present themselves to us 
Roadie
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I love "hearing" your words, Roadie. I am a talker, too... but usually more of a conversationalist than one who writes long, long discourses on a subject. (I have a short attention span... lol) But honestly, I feel people get tired of hearing me talk... In fact, when I don't see an answer to something I've posted, I figure that "no one wants to hear me"...
A big part of my problem is that I crave attention, and sadly, as one gets older it seems it's harder to get peoples' attention.
I'm at a point where I physically feel bad. My back hurts, with pain radiating into other parts of my body. And I am learning what it means to suffer from asthma. My blood pressure has gotten quite high, and yet, when I went to my internist he said my problems were stress-related and simply a part of having asthma.
I felt dismissed and angry. I finally called his office back and complained, so they had me come in again. I told him I was aware of the problems stress can cause, but that I had lived through a lot of stress and thought I deserved to be listened to when I was concerned about physical symptoms that
might be something other than symptoms of depression. Cardiac testing was ordered -- and sleep disorder tests (which I am still waiting on).
I'm just too tired to beg people to listen... (not that begging ever helps...)