Feeling like you have to lie just to go out with friends seems SUPER SUPER unhealthy imo. I hope this isn't too blunt, but I think you need to make a change in this. Don't let him control you in this way. He was the one that cheated on you. You were faithful. He should not expect you to "change like he did", or "prove" yourself - it sounds like you already have. If he can't trust you, and if you can't talk to him these are serious issues that are at the core of your relationship and need to be dealt with.

Just my thoughts, I hope you figure things out I think continuing to write things out and talk to other people about them might help you get perspective and know better what to do.