Hey all,
I had a hell of a day today. I had to go to my EX's appt to get my son's beds and mattresses before she moves out in a couple of days.
Thank GOD she wasn't there..... As soon as I walked in I started bawling like a baby.... Every emotion from when she left over a year ago, came rushing back.... and all the grief turned to anger! It took EVERY OUNCE of self control to not start destroying her stuff. (Honestly, I have had a HUGE problem with being physically destructive of THINGS when angry and sad).
Looking back, every time I've felt an emotion besides happiness, it has turned to anger. Sadness, Loss, grief, annoyance..... everything!
I HATE IT!!!! I HATE BEING ANGRY!!!!
The meds help.... A LOT.... but not enough....
Now that the anger has passed, its just sadness.... a very deep sadness.
I really hate feeling like this..... I can't hide in work anymore... I'm not working.... FML