Whenever I express feelings of frustration or depression about the issues I have with relationships in my life, the responses I receive are exactly the same as this one, and it's because of this why I no longer make threads about relationship issues on PC. Indeed, I have likely responded to at least a dozen posts identical to this one. Although I understand that it is an Internet forum, the fact that all the advice is based on assumptions doesn't help me, therefore I come here strictly to vent when I am feeling worse than usual. When I need advice relevant to my situation in life I talk to my T and those that know me better.

Actually, no, I don't have family to 'fall back on,' despite how hard it is for people to understand that. People that are unaware of my family history can't comprehend how twisted and hateful my family is. Frankly, I am not interested in writing about all the police interventions, abuse, theft, attempted murder and actual murder, suicides, and all the other exciting features of my family here in this thread; I've done it enough times on PC. Suffice it to say that I don't have family to fall back on.

Who's to say I am not already 'active in the community'? Again it's an assumption because I am a member of a federal political party that meets every month, two non-profit organizations, a political youth organization, I write for a national publication, I donate blood, I attend a mental health support group, and I have attended numerous rallies and done many hours of volunteer, political work. Additionally, in 2013 I hope that I will be among the 10, 000 youth activists from around the world in Ecuador. People assume I sit on the computer and complain all day but I do have a fairly busy life being active in causes and with organizations.

But here's what is unbelievable: virtually no one is close to my age. I am 21 years old and none of those that are active where I am are under the age of 50, with many closer to 70, which isn't entirely bad, but does make it a little difficult to make friends with them. Readers will be thinking, "How can that be?" and there is a simple explanation: the causes I am active with are not attractive to youth, and the political party I am a member of is a little different than what people think. I won't talk about it because I receive enough hate mail as it is and have been attacked for it on PC, but it would be an understatement to say that the membership is small, with about 300 members in a nation of 35 million. It's because of the low membership that the political youth organization doesn't exist where I live.

Moreover, it confuses me when people talk about clubs and interests as the best way to make friends, because as I said to my T some of the most horrible and miserable people I have met are those that share the same interests as me. Take the interest I have in tarantulas - I won't use a website for tarantula keepers. Whenever I have there was so many insults, threats, attacks, hate mail, and flame wars that I couldn't tolerate it. Many of my other interests are not that different. You would be surprised at the amount of harassment and anger I have experienced while attempting to connect with those of the same interests. They're not isolated incidents. Once a man thanked me because he needed help with caring for a centipede he recently bought and of the 30 or so responses I was the ONLY one that answered his question without insulting him. At chess clubs physical fights have broken out over games too.

All I am saying is that being around others with similar interests is not the jackpot of friendship that it's made out to be.

A second issue I have with being social is the challenge of transportation. Unfortunately, I live about 2 hours (round trip) from the nearest urban centre, and I am in such a rural area that there is neither cell phone reception nor high-speed internet. (I use a 30+ foot tower and a satellite for Internet.) Unless I have a specific reason to make the trip to the city, I can't afford to drive there too much hoping to socialize with people. I can't walk outside and think, "I will visit [insert place here] and see if I can meet someone," whenever I feel like it.

It's a little more complicated for me than simply smiling and finding those with similar interests (not that many people share my interests anyhow). I've done 9 years of therapy and 5 years of speech therapy (hard to make friends when you can't communicate well!) to feel better about myself. Although I do try to make friends and be active socially, at some point the other person has to meet me somewhere, because it takes 'two to tango.' All the driving, therapy, smiling, and socializing won't make a difference unless someone else I meet would like to be friends too.

I am doing the best I can. The fact that it's not good enough for anyone else is out of my control.