((((((((((((Jen!))))))))))) no need to apologize!!! You are in great pain...as Roadie and Terry have said...I feel it is imperative for you to address this business of Survivor Guilt You seem to be besieged with!

Dreadful feeling, also very normal part of the grieving process. (((Jen))) You never "deserved" any of the bad things others did to you in your life! NO!

We are all worthy of love...especially those of use who can see where we may have hurt someone else..those of us who look inside ourselves and see all the darkness--We have all got our mistakes, our bad behaviors of the past... there is no way any of us is without an "unkind" deed or thought...

I found this for you:

http://www.healingheart.net/articles...ges_guilt.html

I like the "empty chair" idea..please pm me if you need???

((((((((((Jen))))))))))) "this, too, shall pass"! We love you! xo!