Hey Torn,

No need to apologize, it's completely fine I'm glad you have found the AvPD forum. From what I've seen, it's been more active lately.

It is comforting, in a way. The fact that someone other than myself is able to understand..it helps. I'm not saying that I am happy you go through it too though. Hopefully you know what I mean.
Thinking that everyone is having negative thoughts about you gets to you after awhile.. Every laugh you hear, you assume it is directed at you..or that's how it is with me.

I've never really thought about it.. Maybe I need to try and figure that out. There was a lot of verbal abuse in my childhood. Idk though. But yeah, you're right..'I' sticks out in everything I say/write. It's just that I want to be able to try to help others, and hold a conversation. I'm so focused on my own problems, yet I'm not trying to fix them.

Maybe.. I don't know. And yeah, It makes sense. I don't notice the shoulds anymore. There are many 'shoulds' day after day.

Thank you for replying Let me know if I offend you in any way, or if I am rambling/not making sense/sounding stupid/whatever else. Lol.

May the force be with you,

Chris.