Hi Elisa, I have been where you are, and it is a scary place. I had to seek out help from my pdoc and therapist. Actually, my husband sent me in that direction because of my behaviors. I am hoping that you will look for professional help to get you through this.

I thought that my children would be better off without me. My therapist kept telling me that it would affect them for the rest of their lives. Finally, after getting chemically straight with meds, I could see clearly the damage I would do to many people if I chose that path.

Try to focus on the fact that this is temporary, there is help available, and your family loves you. It may be hard to see right now, but nudge yourself forward and things will get better. Please go to the hospital or at least phone someone for help, or ask your husband to do it for you.

Keep posting to let us know how things are going, Elisa.

Bluemountains