Thanks you guys... The fact that I wake up so early (usually about 3:30) makes it difficult for me to do much else but just lay there :/ I think the trigger was my job I started working as a case manager at a rape crisis center and my past issues started to come up, I knew I had to leave but was fired before I could find another job....so now I don't really have anywhere to go in the mornings and being that Im short on cash, I don't really have many options on things to do.. I think what makes it even worse in the mornings is when ny husband leaves for work, I know that he has to go, he is our only income and he usually lays with me for a few minutes to try to ease some of the anxiety he holds me tight but when he leaves I feel abandoned...I have dependency issues as well..I think my two children are the only reason I don't lay in bed all day...

I didn't like meds when I was on them but lately I feel desperate.. yesterday morning it was so bad I felt suicidal. I'm ashamed of what depression has done to me. Also I think my husband thinks I'm a little out of it (kooky)....I think maybe seeing a T can validate what I already know I am experiencing and help him understand that the me he used to know is still there...