(((Mindinpieces)))

All the things you are talking about are normal to having anxiety issues. Included with that can also be "hyperventilation", I did alot of that at your age.

You need to practice some calming methods and learn how to help yourself stop the build up of cortizol that makes it hard to calm down. It sounds like you unknowingly feed into the anxiety and suffer the consequences.

By distracting your mind that slows down your breathing and racing thoughts, you allow the brain to shut off the cortizol buildup. When you are thinking and doing something that has no fight/flight signals to it that allows the brain lets go of the cortizol and it backs off and discipates.

When we are young children and get upset or frightened we cry and shiver and stress.
Our mothers or caregivers are supposed to respond to that with gently touching and a calm soothing voice which slowly distracts our brains to a calm so that the cortizol stops building up. As we are growing and learning about our environment we can encounter surprizes that can startle us, so again a mother is supposed to be there to help us calm down, feel safe and once again "relax". But as children we also begin to learn "structure" and with that, we calm down because we can now "predict" and "expect" and our brains and follow that structure rythm.

If for some reason we do not have that presence to help us calm down, we can struggle to understand how to do that process, which in turn can bring us future challenges with learning how to "calm down" when we are stressed. And if we do not have structure that too can challenge us as well.

For a long time it was thought that it was better to allow children to cry for a long time and learn how to finally calm down and just go to sleep. I personally never believed that, and I always rocked my daughter and let her totally relax and then fall asleep. I also read to her from a very early age which gave her pictures and things to think about that were "pleasant" while she slept. Basically I felt it was better for her to have a structure that included touching cuddling and calm interactions.

So, it is quite possible that you may have had a mother that followed the rule of "just let your child cry, don't go and coddle her/him, let them learn that when you put them down, that means "go to sleep". So now you struggle with "relaxing" and what that means is you need to learn how to finally "self sooth" and help your body "calm down".

By my reading to my daughter and teaching her how to relax way back when, she often still reads at night before bed and then goes to sleep. And, she often reads to relax as well. And what she has learned to do is "distract her brain" so it calms down and doesn't "stress".

One of the hardest times when it comes to "anxiety" is in the late teens and early 20's. The reason for that is "structure" change. Human beings "like structure" in their lives, it brings a sense of "predictablity" and we do like that, it allows us to "relax" and even disassociate because we are in a "routine".

When students enter into their "freshman" year of college, they begin to "panic". All of a sudden that old structure is gone and they are thrust into a much "freer" schedule where they are also making "choices". Not only that but, the more intimate environment of a "high school" is dramatically changed to being in a much larger environment where there is very "little" familiarity.

Most students are "intimidated" by this and often want to "run home" or find their way back to a more "predictable environment". And because they now can experience "anxiety" that can really "challenge" them, they begin to "self doubt" and even panic.
So there can be quite an adjustment period until they become more comfortable with having more space and a very different kind of "structure".

(((MIP))), your saying that you should know how to "deal" with "anxiety" by now is not really being "fair to yourself". And the truth is, you are not alone with this kind of struggle either. If you learn to finally understand what this really means and work on now learning how to better adjust, that some of the anxiety is normal and that you "can" learn ways to self sooth and control it, you will do much better.

The 20's is all about slowly learning how to adjust to structure changes and become more relaxed in knowing that there are going to be gradual changes and that you "can" learn to slowly adjust to this. If you learn that you don't have to consider "anxiety and panic" as "punishment you should fear" and instead consciously work on understanding what it means and working on ways to finally adapt, you will do much better.

So, what you need to do is find ways to help yourself build a more personal sense of structure. That can include your set scheduled classes, allowing time for study/homework, looking for quiet places you can accomplish that, like the library and also spend time working out, jogging the campus or other "physical" activities. College years and the twenties is the beginning of learning "self management" and "self predictable structure patterns" that you can slowly settle into that again helps your brain also settle down, and even do the normal "dissassociation" it likes to do from time to time.

Understand that "dissasociation" is something the brain likes to do from time to time, we all do it, and the brain often likes to just wander off and relax sometimes. When we don't have structure that can bring us "predictablity", our brains are often constantly "alert" and that tends to tire the brain out. And when we are constantly on "alert" and don't understand we are lacking "predictable structure" the brain can begin to experience "anxiety".

Also you need to understand that when we are in our 20's and are not yet sure of what kind of life we want to lead, we can become very stressed because we don't see a "predictable structure" yet. And many people in their 20's can become restless, feel like a failure, experience low self esteem, and not quite understand "why".

It is important to understand "life stessors" and these are presented anytime we change a "structure/routine" that we become accustomed to that the human brain likes. A change can be a move to a new home, loss of a job, change of a job position, even change of a car or anything that interupts our "structure pattern".
So, what you have to do is build a new structure and make sure you include things that you have done in your past where your brain can say, "yes I know this, I can do this" and it begins to settle down and "relax" into that activity.

Also, remember, that whenever you begin any kind of "structure" change, it takes the brain a while to learn that new structure and finally "adapt" and then slowly calm down into that "new rythm". And this goes for "anything new" that we are taking on with our brains. A new computer, a new car, the latest phone technology, a new boss, a new apartment in a new surrounding, anything different takes time for the human brain to adjust to and once again settle into a rythm.

A structure or rythm can be where ever you are in life. If you have not yet made a decision and are researching and learning, then "that becomes your present structure". And you can always make sure you do things that you have used in your past that are "predictable and calming". For example, if you used to like to window shop, then put that in your schedule, just make sure you don't lament about the old structure you did that in, just let yourself enjoy that activity the way you always did. Do not allow yourself to think that anything you have done in your past that you enjoyed and mastered somehow is not permitted unless you are in that "old structure pattern". Keep learning about the things "you love to do and feel good about" and make sure you "disguard" any sense of loss, and open our mind up to moving forward, learning, and adapting towards constant structure patterns that help you feel more "relaxed".

Open Eyes