I have been in a relationship for almost a year. L is 11 years older than I am and in his 50s.

In the past months, we have broken up maybe about 20x - that averages about 2x a month. 90% of the break-ups were initiated by him. And every break up is the result of a very minor issue that gets blown up out of proportion - by him.

What do I mean by minor issue? I said the wrong thing or I said the wrong thing in the wrong tone or I said whatever in the wrong tone. Well, wrong tone to him means aggressive. In short, I am not expected to have any emotions except positive ones. I am not allowed to be upset or angry - with anything he does or say, no matter how hurtful or wrong. By the way, I don't yell when I am hurt or upset - according to him I sound stern, and that freaks him out.

The result is I get bashed verbally for hours and/or silent treatment for days on end which means that he does not answer calls or reply to texts. In other words, this man is a master at silent treatment. If he does reply, we will spend hours with him "screaming" insults, accusations, bringing up a million past issues, etc. whilst I am doing all the explanation and apologizing. I have only ever heard an apology from this man when
1) he steps on my toes accidentally
2) we were on vacation and I wanted to leave because we were going through another endless ridiculous fight and he needed me to be around for some reason or other

That makes it like 1 apology from him to 100 from me.

Is it really possible that in any relationship, there is only one person who is 99% in the wrong? Every issue, every single issue, according to him, is my fault and I started 100% of every single fight we had.

Example: left my phone at home when I went to work. Replied his text 2 hours late. No reply from him. Text him again - response was curt. Asked what was wrong several times, no reply. Next morning asked again, apologised profusely for answering text late. Reply: "screaming" that he wants a break up...etc etc for a couple of hours via text.

And oh, he cancels plans sometimes paid for when he is mad at me - and then tells me to pay up the penalties. Gets mad and still brings it up months later because I refuse to. Figured I didn't ask for the cancellation, I didn't even agree to it, why should i pay for his decision? He tells me that l lack integrity.

Brings up his ex repeatedly when he is mad at me telling me how wonderful she is - errr...she cheated on him LOL!!! Says he doesn't mind because she was so fun! Ok...guess I am the crazy one here.

I get verbally abused for hours when he gets mad over anything I say or do. The content, as given in examples above, are emotionally and mentally abusive. Or am I wrong?