Sorry this is happening and I agree with Leed. His outburst is very immature and I doubt it will get better. As you see, he's not taking any responsibility for his part in this. What if he lived alone - he would have to turn on his own light, which isn't hard to do or he can buy a mini flashlight that attaches to a key ring. This isn't a simple light problem but indicates an anger management problem and these are difficult to treat.

This will continue to be an ongoing battle. Next time he'll do more than throw the phone and its obvious he's turned this into a physical threat. Having kids will just put more stress on this marriage. I feel you should contact a good lawyer and get out of this marriage ASAP. Don't fall for promises he'll get better or his pathetic threats. He needs professional help that you can't give him. Him moving in the basement is just to scare you and him asking for sex is wrong. He's putting restrictions on you but expects you to be the same giving wife. This won't get better and you'll begin to lose yourself.