I was so angry at myself. And scared. I slept with my emotional abusive ex boyfriend. He "won". Why would I let him? I wanted to feel pain. So, first I purged thinking I could get relief but that wasn't enough. I took my shaver and slashed the skin on my leg until I bled. This was the first time I EVER caused myself to bleed. I'm worried that if I had the guts to do it once... I'll have the guts to do it again.