All I want is attention. I want someone to take care of me and hold me. I was doing so well! Then my emotionally abusive ex boyfriend came over. And we had sex. Afterwards I felt so ashamed and disgusted. Not only did I stick a finger down my throat to purge. I also cut myself till I bled with my shaver. I already posted on the bulimic and self injury thread. But, this also comes down to my BPD. I want to cut more. And, I also already purged more. I've been telling my friends. It is as if I crave the attention. I want to hear them care for me. I want to know they are there. But I am just going to make them angry and worried if I keep this up. I don't want to stop. What is happening to me? I was never like this... It's like relationships turn me into something I cannot even recognize...