I'm not sure where your thread was or what it was about, because I'm pretty new, but I DO know about depression & hopelessness. When I'm depressed I find I ruminate on past traumatic events & think only negative thoughts. I've learned to try to look at the positive things in my life & try to enjoy small things in the moment--a strong cup of coffee, the sunshine on my face, reading a novel or something humorous (like David Sedaris--sp?--I was in a treatment facility for bipolar depression & was reading a book of his & started laughing out loud. I'd been crying non-stop for days huddled in the corner).

I tried the suicide thing in my teens & 20's (quit when I had kids due to the effect of my mother's suicide on me), but ended up in the ER a month ago with an overdose--don't think it was a suicide attempt--just wanted to get rid of the pain. But I talked to my therapist, meds provider & realized I really want to live & I've go to work hard at making my life joyful & meaningful & I'm going to do it, despite setbacks. I'm learning from all my "episodes" to change my environment to avoid stress, get rid of unhealthy relationships, & try to build my self-esteem so I don't rely so much on my husband's opinion of me to determine my self-worth. When I'm depressed, even a glance from him can be interpreted by me as a scornful look & I go from there to his being embarrased by me, hating me, etc. I jump to all sorts of conclusions--negative, of course.

Anyway, know that there are a lot of us who care for you & can empathize with your pain. Keep reaching out to us & let us know what we can do to help.--Suzy