I have struggled with depression on and off for about 10 years since my husband and son were killed in a car accident. But I have always been able to climb out of it somehow. Since March of last year, I have been unable to leave my house, or my bed for that matter. I have no friends, no family, I am gaining weight at n alarming rate because I basically not move, I have gone to hospitals, tried medications, read books, gone to church, joined groups...nothing seems to stick..i have a history of being treated poorly by people in and around my life so I have resorted to seluding myself to my room...what do I do know? Where do I seek help next? I'm so terrified and embarrassed to leave my house for people to see wht I have become but at the same time I am terrified that if I dont get help soon I will succumb to my thoughts of the easy way out?