I'm currently in college (but on winter break). I am struggling with too many issues at once: Depression, OCPD, Learning Disabilities, and ADHD. I see the school psychiatrist once a month for meds, and once a week (when school is in session) I see a therapist on campus (a graduate student).

I have been struggling to get through just three classes, and the is with me not working - because work took too much of my school time from me. My learning disabilities make school very tough for me, but my obsessive compulsive personality (OCPD) just makes completing an assignment ten times worse.

My therapist has me doing self affirmations and lots of misc. worksheets, but when I read the self affirmations it just makes me more sad, because feel the statement will never be true for me, and just can I not feel like I have any control to change my feelings about myself. I feel like I have nobody to turn to and that nobody cares whether I live or not. I even told my therapist that I wouldn't mind dying (but I have no plan to hurt myself), so she said we can't meet while school is out, but that she would email me at our normal meeting time to see how I was doing. That day and time came and went without an email from her. Maybe it's just my OCPD, but having a specific day and time they I should expect an email had me on edge thinking about how I need check my email so I'm not making her wait for a response, so when the day/time came and I got nothing, I felt like there is nobody left that I can count on to help me.

I should mention that the school counseling center (with licensed and practicing professionals) said that they could tell that they wouldn't able to help me within the 16 session limit so they referred me to the community counseling center (also on campus) which has educational psychology graduates as the therapists. I went ther for two semesters (getting a new graduate student with each semester), but ther is a two semester limit, so after the two semesters I reached out to the psychology clinic on campus (which uses clinical psychology graduate students as the therapists). The first semester was ok, and I really felt like I could get somewhere with the therapist assigned to me, but after the semester was over they decided they needed her somewhere else, so had I to start all over again last semester with a new person (who I don't really feel understands my struggles). I am supposed to have her again next semester, but then that's what they said about the previous one. I feel like it is just hopeless that I will ever get better.

I'm sorry this was so long. Thanks for reading it.