@hiddeng3nius:

I am pleased that my post helped you to feel a bit justified about what you experienced with your own dad.

That insight really helps and explains my still ambiguous feelings. I've never thought that I had a close relationship with that man, but now I see that his unapologetic nature influenced me more than I prefer and probably not to the best.

I told my mother that when arguing with him I felt like biting on granite, no chance of getting my grievances across, he even turned the tables and tried to find my fault in everything I said. Also he pulled every button to make me feel bad like comparing me with my brother, accusing me of troubling my mother, etc.

I don't like him, and I don't have to like him. He never put much effort into integrating my brother and me into his new relationship with my mother after marrying her.

I haven't worked through my anger yet. But now I know that there is no longer a bridge under which there could flow some water.