lmn,
I've you've got something that you need to get off your chest and out of your mind, this is the place. You come here and vent anythime the feeling strikes. It can be a healthy thing to do. There no big plan, or a rulebook that says you should have done certain things by certain times in your life. You'll do and have the things you mention when the time is right in your life. Just try to be the best you that you can be right now, no pressures, no hassles, just living life as it comes. The good things in life have a habit of happening for us when we least expect them.
I'm very glad that you're here and you've decided to join our family. I hope you find all the love and support you're looking for!
Greg
"Beauty is truth, truth is beauty - that is all you know on earth, and all you need to know"