My wife and I separated back in August of 2012 and we are headed for divorce.
I have been as honest with her as I can be about all of my depression, anxiety, stress and the way it has affected our relationship. I have answered her questions and been open to her when she needed to vent about my inability to communicate with her, my lies used to cover up my inability to deal with my stress, anxiety, and depression. I have beenhonest about my porn use, and my online affair with a younger woman in an adult virtual reality video game.
I have expressed my regret, my sadness, my apology, my desire to reconcile despite all of this.
Not gonna happen. My ex told me we are done. We are friends and we are raising our daughter as best we can from two separate households.
So now I am alone and lonely (albeit by my own doing!) and I am telling you that I am desperately lonely. I NEED a human touch...a loving, gentle human touch from someone that cares.
I hope I dont sound too pathetic but if I do then maybe I am.
I mean, I guess maybe I am co-dependant. I just don't do well alone. I function fine...I can cook, I clean, do my laundry...I just hate doing it all alone!
And of course I can't stop beating myself up because I had a loving wife, a dedicated spouse, a woman who really loved me....and I screwed it all up!
Thanks for reading my post. Reply with any comments you like. I just had to post this, just needed to vent it and talk it out.