
Dec 30, 2012, 10:37 AM
|
|
|
Member Since: Dec 2011
Location: Long Island NY
Posts: 1,272
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam2
Claritytoo,
You are talking about feelings, and when you get into that realm, there really are no rules. People are a complicated mixture of genetics, experiences and paths in life. Has anyone every asked you how you feel about an issue, it doesn't have to even be about yourself, but you don't have the words to explain it?
Some people have spent years being told that they were not as good, worthless, stupid or ugly, and after a while, one starts to believe it. There are those that will go to their grave believing that they are worthless. Most likely, they will go there alone. Others can be brought out of that mindset with kindness and support. Part of it depends on whether they were damaged, or broken. We all have our limits, an unseen line that when crossed over, causes us to snap.
What ever the cause of feelings of worthlessness, it is up to those who can, to lend support to those who are suffering. Giving up on someone who repeatedly says they are worthless only verifies that feeling. I'm going to use an example that may be a little controvesial. Take a fat person. They see others around them that are of normal size and wish they were as well, but have given up hope after trying numerous times to lose weight. They have been teased about being overweight, called names and humiliated. After awhile, they may start making jokes about how fat they are, or bringing it up quickly. Why? Because if they say it first, it decreases the chance of someone else making comments or mocking them. If someone feels worthless, they too may say it first before someone else can tell them that they are.
Take a child who every time they bring home a B on their report card, their parents ask them why wasn't it an A? They play a sport, work as hard as they can and score points for a team several times, but miss one shot. Their parents say nothing about the points they got, just ask why did they miss that one shot? Even if the parents are doing that in an effort to try and make the kid work to thier potential, all the kid hears is that they are never good enough. It sounds simple, but put enough years on that, and the damage is done.
Its not a waste of time to tell someone who is emotionally suffering that they are worth something. That they are special. Its not a lie or a matter of just trying to make the person feel better. Its the truth. We all have our place on earth, and while we are here, we all touch someone else's life one way or another no matter how insignificant we think we are.
I don't know if that came close to answering your question, but if nothing else, maybe it gave you something to think about.
Sam2
|
Thanks for your reply. My alter who feels worthless doesn't have a name and I am not sure of their gender. I think she may be a she. She doesn't seem to want a name. I think for now I will refer to her as Beth. She seems to be ok with that. Beth gets very angry when we are unable to do something correct. The anger wells up and than she wants to explode by hitting us, slapping us or punching us. She doesn't want to hit things. She wants to hit the body. And she wants it to hurt. Her first thought is to slap in the face. Than to punch the body. She has done both. She is not older than twenty. I don't think. Now that I am more aware we are alters I asked her why she wanted to hit us. She said it was from feelings of worthlessness. I can not remember if she said she was worthless or if the original was worthless and right now she is not making it clear. I am not sure she was aware we are part of a system. Knowing this might cause her to reevaluate her willingness to hit us. At least that is how it seems right now. I am glad you responded to my post it helped to give her and I a chance to communicate when we were both in a calm state. Thanks again.
|